"I’m not for everyone. I’m barely for me."- Marc Maron (via senyahearts)
its really hard to take anything seriously when considering the size of my penis
I was watching the news yesterday (which is fuckin weird that they always air news that i was already aware of like 4 days before everytime i go back to work for the week) and they were talking about that earthquake that happened the other week. they were all like “Wine county was hit by an earthquake and there was a bunch of wine on the grond and stuff. what’s this mean for texas?” cause like who fuckin cares if peoples streets and homes businesses were destroyed you know. what’s texas gonna do without wine?
i blew out a booger and it looked like an alien so i kept it in my pocket
Truth be told i just want to be a warrior/alchemist/necromancer/warlock/thief/assassin with a nice beard, nice long hair, smell nice, and a completely healthy body.